randomly chaotic and frequently mundane

Ok, I confess that I started listening to these guys cause I’m friends with em.  But I must say that they amaze and amuse and I’m sure some of y’all would agree.  Give em a shot, check out an episode or two.  The two most recent episodes are quite amusing.  I laughed, I cried… I damn near peed my pants.

 http://straitjacketquartet.podomatic.com/

But watch out for Claus… he’s a bit odd.

Over the posts regarding C and spending time with him, I imagine that one could get the feeling that he’s more than a friend.  Well, he’s not.  He’s just a friend.  With benefits, which are very very nice.  That said, it’s nice that we can go out and have a drink and a conversation without the physical aspect coming into play.  I find time spent in his company (much like my other friends) to be relaxing.  I’m at ease with myself and my surroundings.  Jared seems to think he’s my boyfriend, which is amusing.  But Jared lives in his own little universe.  Nothing I say could convince him that it’s not the case.  At least nothing I’ve said to him yet has worked.  I explained that to C, just in case Jared ever refers to him as my boyfriend in his company.  I don’t want him freaking out or thinking that I believe our relationship is more than it is.

C has helped me so much over the past couple of months as far as putting myself back together.  Just having someone else to talk to about everything I’m feeling and not feeling or not wanting to feel.  Or helping me unwind after a day that’s got me wishing I had super head explody powers that I could use on the people who piss me off.  Like the people who’ve known me for many years, he’s got this uncanny ability to calm and divert a negative emotional state to a happier place with a simple question or comment.  I value his friendship.  To be honest he’s the kind of guy I’d like to end up with if I ever decide to go that route emotionally again.  But not him.  His friendship means too much to me to risk messing it up by taking it to a more intimate level.  Does that make sense?  I’d rather have him as a friend for the rest of my life than ever think of him in the same way I think of an ex or someone I had a volatile relationship with.

Actually, it was just one drink but it was very nice.  It was a nice unwind with a nice conversation.  Actually the conversation involved more venting than what most people consider a nice conversation, but that’s beside the point.  The point of the story is that a drink with a good friend has such amazing power.  It doesn’t matter what you talk about, or even what you drink.  You could be drinking hot tea or long island iced tea, don’t matter one bit.  The conversation doesn’t matter either.  It could be insanely mundane or so steamy that the people who are just outside of earshot lean in to eavesdrop on what you’re talking about… Hell, you could sit silently and sip your tea and that be how you spent having a drink with a friend.  It’s about the company.  Being in the company of someone you’re comfortable with, and just enjoying it.  Yeah.  That’s the good stuff folks.  Drinks with a good friend has the power to unwind you, to release all of the tension into the wind… to make the bad go away (for awhile, at least).  It’s got the power to bring a smile to a scowling face and a feeling of ease and contentment to a tormented mind or soul.  Find a friend who needs it and go have a drink with them.

had an interesting night last night.  Not going into details, but I spent some time with C.  The evening start out not so good, but ended very nicely.  At one point, he expressed his appreciation for my friendship, which felt damn good I must admit.  I hope he knows how much I value and appreciate his friendship as well.  How much our long conversations about anything and nothing… you know… the kind of conversations where you spill your souls to each other along with random bits of information (like your favorite pizza toppings) actually mean to me.  The kind that aren’t really linear… but seem to come full circle.  Does that make any sense?  People seem not to grasp sometimes… my friends.  My REAL FRIENDS, are very important to me.  Like family. 

Whatever it is that Gage has… he’s given it to me.  I spent half of yesterday unable to hold anything down.  It ain’t fun.  Gage is still throwing up, but not as much as he was.  That’s a good thing.  So I feel like complete and utter crap.  It’s all very unpleasant.  I’m feeling a little better than yesterday, which is good.  Yesterday, I was so thirsty, but everythign I drank came back up.  But I couldn’t not drink something.  I tried water, plain tea, tea with honey, wild berry zinger tea with nothing in it, kool ade…. the only thing I didn’t try drinking to satisfy my thirst was milk — I’m pretty sure that milk would have come right back up anyway.

A little brightness yesterday, I got a pretty surprise from one of my best friends.  Carrie sent me a little boquet of flowers in a vase.  Lavendar roses with somepretty pink flowers, I’m not sure what they are.  But it definitely made me smile and made me feel loved.  It’s been awhile since I felt that way.  Now I just have to keep the cats from eating them.  I’ve been successful so far.  I had to push them away from them a few times yesterday, and when I went to bed I hid them.  I keep thinking maybe when I go to bed I should put them in the fridge, but I don’t want to accidentally kill them that way. 

He put the hood to his costume on a little while ago and was walking around with it on.  Very cute, I must say.  It fits pretty good, although it looks a little odd with his Avalanche jersey, lol.  Once I get the bottom hem on the shirt done, he can start wearing the shirt and pants to school and stuff, too.  Which will be nice.

Had a groovy chat with Rob today.  It was nice having a friend to talk to, that’s for sure.  I miss having that regularly, but I’ll take occasionally over never.

I’ve been reading this book by Jack Higgins, Dark Justice.  It’s pretty slow so far.  I’m giving it another 50 pages to grab my attention then I’m moving on.  My “They made that into a movie” bookbox arrived home about a week ago, so I’ve got some interesting stuff in there to read.  Some I’ve already read, so I’ll find places to release those.  Some I haven’t read but would really like to, like Chocolat and Little Women.

Aaron is coming over tonight.  It’ll be nice to see him again.  It’s been quite awhile, after all.  Haven’t seen him since that Memorial Day party before I moved out here.

Hoping to hook up with Rob and play some more Magic: The Gathering online with him this weekend or something.  That’d be fun.  It’s funny because the systems chat eliminates naughty words.  Doesn’t put symbols in their place or anything.  They just don’t show up.  So when I want to tell him I have the “Fuck you, I win” card, it tends to come out looking like: I have the      you, I win card.  Which is funny, but not nearly as effective.  So we say smurf.  As in “I have the smurf you, I win card” or “you smurf!” or “smurfin deck is stacked against me.”  Which makes it even funnier, to be honest.

Gage keeps turning the living room light off and on.  He likes watching the fan stop and go.  It’s kinda funny, actually.