randomly chaotic and frequently mundane

Seriously people, get with the program.  We work there but we’re not your slaves, chained down to bow to your every whim.  I had a woman today push her cart around behind me so I could put her groceries in it while I bagged them.  She kept telling me “not too heavy, I can’t lift heavy things!” Ok, then why the 3-liter bottles of soda.  People tend to find those heavy.  Why all the fucking canned goods — also heavy.  And who said you didn’t have to lift a finger?  If she’s not putting the crap in the cart after I’ve bagged it, how does she know if I’m making them too heavy for her?  Add to that, she had someone help her to her car and load the groceriess for her.  So she won’t know if they’re too heavy until she gets home, and then it’s too late to complain.  Are you seriously that lazy?  SERIOUSLY????

Then I was put on UScan.  That’s my favorite.  I love watching the sheer number of people who either can’t count or can’t read.  It’s a sad statement on the education.  Can’t count to 20 or can’t deciper the words “20 items or less” I think my son could do that… and he’s only 6 and has Autism.  He just started reading.  But I bet he could figure that part of the equation out.  Then we move on to the fact that these people can’t seem to grasp that it’s the barcode, not the label that needs to be scanned.  You have any idea how many people I see at the UScan who are trying to scan the fucking label?  It cracks me up and they get pissy when I show them what they should be doing.

Then there was the customer who was taking bags off the bagging area and putting them into her cart to bag the groceries into.  She couldn’t figure out why it kept telling her to bag the item.  Here’s a newsflash… that “bagging area” is a SCALE it tells the attendant the weight of the items you’re putting into the bag alerts us if what you put in weighs more than it should and it TELLS THE COMPUTER THAT THE ITEM HAS BEEN BAGGED.  This is not rocket science people.  It’s grocery shopping.  When I explained it, she started putting the stuff she’d already bagged, the stuff I told the computer “Skip bagging” for ONTO the bagging area.  Yeah, it messed the system all up.  She bitched that next time she was just going to go through the line.  Well if you had half a brain this wouldn’t have taken so long.  Again, my son can do this.  He does it almost every time we go through the UScan.  He loves doing it.  Granted, he’s highly intelligent, but this is something a trained monkey can do.  Why can grown adults who presumably have a middle school education no figure this shit out?

So, after work on Thursday, I’m driving home and I notice that the ride is especially bouncy.  I’m talking the boobs on Baywatch when they’re running bouncy.  Get home, get out of the car and the ground is quite a bit closer than it was in the morning.  What the????  Ok, so I take a walk around the car… what looks different?  Ah-HA!  The wheel well over the rear, drivers side tire is only an inch or so away from the tire.  CRAP.  So I talk to my step-dad and tell him what’s up.  Sounds like you’ve got a busted shock.  Double CRAP.

Fast forward to today.  I go out to my car to get some firewood.  Yes, it sounds bizarre, but there’s the remainder of a load of firewood in my trunk.  As of Thursday we were talking 15-20 pieces of wood, so that’s not what the issue was.  Anyhoo… I take a look at the car while I’m out there.  All wheel wells are equal and normal distance from the tires.  I got in, got out, ground is the normal distance.

HUH?

Dude, my car is Christine or something.